Ah crap, dafuq do I even say?

Who can say what is hurt or what is healing...

I can't tell if am I am getting better or worst.

When you lose someone close it makes you realize how short and fleeting life truly is...

I've still been drawing mostly pen and paper...

Still using a phone camra to upload drawings...saving up for a better PC so I can get back to doing digital art.

You grow up, life changes and people you love die.

Turn the page and wash your hands...

Anyways...I turned 33, went to my mom funeral for my birthday and my PC is still broken.

The trips to the public scanners and Free Wi-fi is getting old.

I never wanted to make money off of art, I just wanted to make art because I have fun drawing.

Sigh...

We all know art supplies and tools are not free.

I have deal with rent and food before I can draw.

What have I been doing?

Not much it seems. I've been planning a short comic (a lewd one)

I have the idea on paper. A few written lines here and there and the firm work of what looks like a layout or storyboard. It's about two gems, some food porn and milking a bull in a barn.

Anything else?

I am still trying to learn about color, light and form. Not much I can do with pens, markers and paper. My hope is that if I keep working on the idea someone with the right equipment may take the idea and do a better job then me. Hopefully someone who can see color better then I can.

I don't learn as fast as i use to. I blame my stubborn pride.

Well my personal focus is on learning how to add both color and tone(?) to a drawing while reducing the amount of....I don't know what to call it. Line I use to draw with? Yeah...the line i make to form the drawings I wanna see if i can skip over the smaller detail and use color to fill in the blank. I feel stupid spelling it out like this.

Fuck color blindness tho! Now that's frustrating. I see a 3 but I know there is an 8 on there...I hope.

Think of it from my point of view. How can i trust my own eyes to tell me if that is true?

Still trying to learn about color. I think I am getting a bit better at telling which color is which. Last time I tried to make something simple and basic as a tree on a sunny hill ...well the sun is not green and grass is not yellow. 1st time i did that was in kindergarten...well shit, I had pretty intense flashback while thinking about that. People tend to laugh at mistakes. Depend on the mistakes and who it belongs to that make a world difference.

I'll just dump the rest on the pile.

What have I been working on?

I am trying to learn about color theory.

Learning about basic story telling. Trying to make uses out of thumbnails.

Also learning how to use perspective. Soon as I figure out a story line, I can start on making a layout or some kinda story broad.

What do I wanna make?

Fan-Comics. (shrug)

So far I am juggling the ideas balls seeing which ones...float? Pop? Ooze? Whatever idea balls do when they work.

This game

https://www.stardewvalley.net/

I love this game. I also fell deeply in love with the whole cast of character.

What better way to show my love then to fuck all of them with a shameless self insert character.

https://www.nexusmods.com/stardewvalley/mods/474/

So now I can love them all as deeply as my imagination well let me plunge.

For Beginners and hobbisty

I am offering art insigth for free.

Hate to admit how uninspired I have been feeling, so that why I am reaching out to see if anyone wants a pen pal to share drawing ideas with.

I can share my point of view on how I learned to draw. Who knows we may even becomes friends.


 

How do I plan to teach?
With awful gammar, poor punctuation and misunderstandings caused by spellcheck errors.

Well...so far I use discord and we chat. Oh there also this back and forth of fuzzy ass snapshots made with  cameraphones,sent to a drive and uploaded to discord.

Still offering drawing request!

Ask me to draw something...go ahead try me.
This page was from a year ago.

Request are open

• Ask me to draw you something. Submit an idea to be turned into a drawing. I'll post it in my scrap pile if I ever do make it.
• I try to stay open minded so just ask and see what happens.

I had to return this scanner . Divers could not be installed. The CD did not boot up and Zip files containing drivers where badly coded so extracting the files only lead to errors. The funny part was it did work not sure how well it would have. This thiccness was too big for that slim. Kinda foolish of me to think they could fit together.

This is heavy!

I've dropped it more then a few times. Once on my foot. The other times on my lap.
You know that moment when all your drawings you want to keep hidden slips out and falls on your toes?

That was the moment I wish i left the book in my room and it slams my cock instend of fumbling to the floor and popping open to R34 drawings.

3 Days into the new year and I all ready hate myself. Then again, I never stopped.

What have I been working on:

I've been thinking, mostly reflecting on my actions.Adding more to my journal the real life one at least.

Never been one for typing down my own thoughts in a public place, it feels vague. Schizophrenia is a dick can't focus on meaning and purpose.

Brainstorming. Doodling. Pissing and moaning on paper.

I found a scanner that can help with the whole digital portion of the digital art. If only I could just buy it. The penny jar is....sitting on the table with a coins in it.

I think what is holding me back is that I am not letting myself get feedback. Like a part of me is scared shitless of some kinda shame I harbor. Plus, being told "you suck" hurts.

What are my goals:

Get better tools.

A tablet that works all the time not just whenever it feels like it. That thing pisses my off so much I lose my shit and my train of thoughts to go with it.

 

Had you ever have a pen run out of ink?
Had you ever have a pen run out of ink; just as you were getting ready to draw something you've been focusing on?
Have you ever toss out an empty pen? Picked up a new one only to find out that it too was empty.
I stopped using it.

A scanner so I can take images off my books.

Find work? Maybe. Not anytime soon I still need to get better as an artist before I try to sell.

 

What is my plan:

Try not to die. Draw.

You can see what I mean if I ever get those tools I need.

Dude....how do the pros do it?

Well you know aside from everyday.

I mean how do they find the time to sit and draw at the computer AND stay focus.

Shit man, I know this much. I am still just hobby level artist.

Should I even open up my comission option?